It Feels Like A Dream
by im so innocent
Summary: The death of Dumbledore comes as a shock to all, especially Harry and Minerva. Slight ADMM but focuses on Harry and Minerva's attempt to cope and understand what has happened
1. I'm so sorry

It Feels Like A Dream

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Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately!!!

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A/n: This story is for my grandad who passed away on 13th October 2003. As you'll notice, this is mainly based on that day, and how my grandma and I reacted. Like my other story, I find it helps to do this, allows me to put my feelings down and things like that.

This story is AD/MM and all those present know about Dumbledore and McGonagall. If you don't like AD/MM well sorry, but really they're a bit like my grandparents, and its kind of fitting.****

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"Hermione, have you done question 5?" Ron asked as his knight moved to E5.

"Yes. Have either of you done any of the questions?" Harry and Ron glanced across the chessboard to each other; both had a guilty look on their face.

"Well no. I mean we were kind of hoping you'd help us along with it" he explained removing his eyes from the board for no more than second, returning to smash Harry's castle.

"Help you!" Hermione quietly exclaimed, "You just wanted to copy. I know you both to well, and you should know by now that I …" Hermione was cut off as Fred and George approached them. Harry noticed that both of the twin's eyes were tinged with redness, and wee slightly bloodshot, however this seemed to have passed unnoticed by Ron and Hermione.

"We need to talk to you, do you want to come outside?" Harry stood mutely, and was quickly followed by Ron and Hermione. The five traipsed out of the common room, and gathered together in the corridor outside of the empty portrait.

"It's err… Dumbledore, his in a bad way" Fred explained in a choked voice. Harry heard Hermione begin to cry, but to him the world had slowed down, almost to a complete halt. Everyone and everything around him seemed blurred and out of focus.

"How bad?" he asked in a monotonous voice.

"We're not sure, they want the three of you up there… we should hurry" George whispered as an afterthought. Both he and Fred set off a quite a speed, and were instantaneously followed by Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Harry had a sense of foreboding as every so often one twin would pat the other on the shoulder in a sign of comfort, while Ron was calming Hermione's sniffling next to him. As they approached the gargoyle protecting Dumbledore's office, Fred called out the password, which allowed the gargoyle to spring to life enabling them to climb aboard the moving the staircase.

As the trio entered the office behind the twins the where instantly swept up into a hug by Mrs Weasley.

"I'm so sorry, I really am, there was nothing that could be done. I'm sorry!" Mrs Weasley's voice was choked with sobs as she tried to contain her tears. The words sunk in, and Harry realised just how bad it was. He felt Hermione slowly begin to fall to the ground, her knees giving way beneath her. The news had sunk in for her as well. Harry stood still, and looked around to see the other occupants of the room. McGonagall was sitting in large red armchair, a handkerchief was held tightly in her hands while silent tears ran down her face, adding to her already puffy red eyes. Behind her stood Snape and Lupin, each had a hand resting on her shoulders in attempt at comfort. There eyes resembled that of Fred and George's red and slightly blood shot. Madame Hooch, was also there providing what Harry supposed were words of comfort to his grieving deputy headmistress. Harry looked to his left and saw Mr Weasley consoling Bill, Charlie and the twins in the corner, and when he looked down, he saw Hermione sitting on the floor rocking backwards and forwards. Ron and Mrs Weasley were on either side with arms wrapped around her trying to calm her down. He could hear Mrs Weasley's whisperings.

"Come on now Hermione, you need to be strong, you need to be strong for Professor McGonagall…" At this point Harry looked towards his distraught transfiguration professor, and slowly approached her.

Madame Hooch got up from her position on the floor and moved to stand in the space between Lupin and Snape. As Harry approached, McGonagall looked up, unshed tears were ready to fall to replace those that had been quickly wiped away.

"He was asleep Harry, he was asleep, but he just didn't wake up again. It was just what he'd have wanted." Harry's eyes began to fill at her words, as he lowered himself into Madame Hooch's previous position crouching on the floor.

"I'm so sorry Professor." Tears flowed freely from her eyes at this, as she bent forward to speak to him, and him alone.

"I know you are Harry, and so am I, I can't quite believe it." He lent forward and wrapped his arms around her neck, and she returned the offer of comfort, as she allowed herself to cry into his shoulder. The opening of the door that led to Dumbledore's chambers broke the scene of devastation. Everyone stopped and stared at the door, Harry, and many of the occupants of the room fully expected Dumbledore to appear in the doorway. Harry could see him standing there in his finest robes, and a matching hat. His bright blue eyes twinkling in amusement at the scene he would encounter. He looked to his professor, and from the glazed over look on her face, she was obviously seeing a similar image. However to Harry's anguish, when he looked to the doorway the image of Dumbledore had vanished and was instead replaced by Madame Pomfrey. Once she'd entered the room, she headed directly over towards Harry and McGonagall. Crouching down to Harry's level, she looked up to his Professor.

"Min, you can see him now, he's ready, but are you? Just take you time you don't have to do this remember." Minerva turned to her friend, and grasped her hand.

"I know Poppy, but I have to, I never got the chance to say goodbye to him, and I need to do that." Madame Pomfrey nodded her head in understanding, and stood to converse with Molly Weasley and Xiomara Hooch.

"Harry? Would you come with me please I'm not sure…"

"Of course Professor." He helped her out of the chair and slowly led her to the closed door leading to his Professor's room.

Dumbledore lay in the bed, Harry couldn't believe that this man was supposed to be dead. He had always thought of him as immortal, in all honestly he'd never though he'd see this day. Sure he'd noticed him becoming older, but to die, right now, it just didn't seem right. As he looked over the body once again, doubt sprung into his mine. He looked like he was in a deep restful sleep, maybe they'd made a big mistake, maybe Dumbledore was playing a very late April's Fools joke.

"Don't stand Harry, come and sit down." McGonagall ordered in that stern voice saved for the classroom. She had placed herself in a chair similar to the one she had previously been sitting in outside, but now it was placed next to the bed. A vacant chair next to hers was apparently intended for him, and so he took his sit as told. He looked at his mentor and friend, and turned to look at his Professor sitting next to him. Her eyes were fixed firmly on t body lying next to them, she didn't turn her head towards Harry when she spoke.

"It feels so, so surreal, like I'm living out a dream, well more of a nightmare. I keep expecting to wake up from this, and find his still there lying next to me." Harry didn't know what to say or do, all he could do was look at the body of his lifeless Headmaster.

"What am I going to do Harry? I cant live without him, he was my life, we've been together 50 odd years, and now his gone, and I don't know what I'm going to do!" McGonagall's body shook with sobs as Harry carefully put his arm around her attempting to console her grief. She lent forward and grabbed Dumbledore's hand, trying to remain in contact with him.

"It's still warm, why is it warm? Shouldn't it be cold? They said he'd passed on, why is he still warm?" Minerva had become frantic touching his hands, head, neck, arms, and chest. She could feel the warmth radiating off of him, surely he should have been cold.

"Madame Pomfrey!" Harry called out. All residents of the room outside came rushing in at the panicked tone of Harry's voice. The sight of a frantic Minerva McGonagall troubled them, and Madame Hooch, and Molly Weasley immediately grabbed  her, attempting to calm her down.

"Min, what is it? What's happened?" Madame Hooch asked as she and Molly attempted to keep her away from the bed in hope of calming her down.

"What happened Harry?" Lupin asked quietly from the corner he was standing in.

"His, his still warm, and Professor McGonagall thinks his still alive because of it. It might be true mightn't it, there's a chance you could have been mistaken." The hopeful tone in Harry's voice caused a brief smile to cross Madame Pomfrey's face, but was soon replaced by a sombre look. Every head had spun to look at Madame Pomfrey. Hope shone in each set of eyes, but as she slowly shook her head, they're faces fell, and once again tears began to fall.

"I'm afraid not, his warm because it seems Albus had been cold before going to bed, and had place a warming spell on both the bottom of the bed, and the duvet covering him."

"He did what?" Minerva asked, her voice slightly higher than usual. "He put a warming spell on the bed?" Madame Pomfrey nodded in reply, as a silence enclosed the room, until a small laugh escaped Minerva's lips, it spread across the room, all amused at there friend and mentors last act.

"Trust Albus, he always felt the cold when winter was beginning to set in. His feet were the worst, always moaned about cold feet, that's why he liked his socks so much, they kept his feet warm."  A small laugh escaped the lips of every person in the room, including that of Dumbledore's.

The noise that had left Dumbledore's lips, once again lifted Minerva's hopes.

"Did you hear that? His alive! Did you hear that noise? He made a noise."

"Min, its…"

"Albus its me, it's Min, wake-up Albus. I know your awake!" Her hands began to shake his body, in an effort to try and wake him, slowly they moved up to cradle his face. "Albus I know you're here, come on just open your eyes. Please open them Albus, open them for me, show me those twinkling blue eyes I'm so used to seeing. Please Albus, please don't leave me. I need you, I need you here by my side. I don't know what I'm going to do, what am I going to do without you Albus. I don't know, I need you I feel empty without you here by me, it feels as though half of me is missing, and that half is you." She lowered her head, resting her forehead against his. Tears were streaming down her eyes, and landing softly on to his beard. Hermione silently walked out of the room her body shaking as tears quickly fell, she was quickly followed by Ron whose eyes had slowly begun to shed tears, similar to those of his four brothers and father who followed gently.

"Albus please wake up, I need you, please open your eyes." The room stayed silent for a minute, but Madame Pomfrey broke it.

"Min, he's gone, he's passed on to a place that is much better than this world."

"Then why did he make that noise, why?" She turned her head to snap at Poppy, slowly she turned back to Albus, and spoke quietly.  "He was trying to tell me that he was coming back, he hasn't left!" 

"Min, that noise is normal, when people have passed away. It was the air escaping from his lungs that had been left there before he died. He has gone Minerva, and unfortunately, both you and I know, he isn't alive." Minerva slowly nodded her arms around Albus's neck.

"I love you Albus, I love you so much, do you know that? Do you know just how much I love you and miss you?" Her body once again began to shake with sobs, as Harry gently began to pull his distraught Professor away from his Headmaster. She fell into his arms, and was at once surrounded by Madame Hooch, and Madame Pomfrey.

"Come on Min, lets go outside for a bit," Madame Hooch suggested.

"No, no we can't leave him, he can't be left alone, its not right."

"I'll stay with him, he won't be on his own Professor." Minerva just nodded, and took one last glance and allowed herself to be led away. 

A/n: I'm sorry if its all a bit jumpy, and if the grammar's bad, but it was quite hard to write, so please excuse any big mistakes. Also I intend to carry this on for I think a further two chapters, Harry and McGonagall's private conversation with him, and the funeral. Please read and review, and please no flamers, I know it may not be good, but it's from the heart.


	2. So surreal

It Feels Like A Dream

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Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately!!!

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A/n: This story is for my grandad who passed away on 13th October 2003. As you'll notice, this is mainly based on that day, and how my grandma and I reacted. Like my other story, 'I Never Meant To' I find it helps to do this, allows me to put my feelings down and things like that.

This story is AD/MM and all those present know about Dumbledore and McGonagall. If you don't like AD/MM well sorry, but really they're a bit like my grandparents, and it's kind of fitting.

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"No, no we can't leave him, he can't be left alone, its not right."

"I'll stay with him, he won't be on his own Professor." Minerva just nodded, and took one last glance and allowed herself to be led away. 

Harry stared at the man lying on the bed, he hadn't noticed before, but he looked different. He couldn't precisely say what the difference was, but he seemed younger, in some way. The wrinkles that Harry had grown accustomed to seem to have vanished, he couldn't decide if this was true, or if his eyes were playing a trick on him. As he reached for his hand, he noticed that the warmth that had been present beforehand was slowly leaving. Professor Snape had removed the warming spell, at the distressing scene they had encountered. Without the spell, Harry realised just how cold his headmaster was becoming. It all seemed so unreal, like a dream that didn't want to end. He couldn't understand how this could happen, it shouldn't have happened! Not now, not when he, and so many other people needed him most. As Harry grasped his hand he lent forward, and began to quietly whisper to his former Headmaster.

"Sir, I know your there, I know you can hear me, I just wish you could open your eyes. It would make Professor McGonagall so happy, but I know that it won't come true, I know that no matter how hard I wish, you won't come back to us." The tears that had remained unshed in Harry's eyes were finally beginning to fall.

"I don't know what to do Sir. I really don't know, how I can I go on with the war against Voldermort when I have neither you or Sirius by my side. You've left me sir, and without your guidance, I don't know what to do. I need your help, I need you by my side when I eventually defeat him, and I can't do this without you. Why did you have to go, why now, this shouldn't be happening! Do you know how upset everyone is out there? Professor McGonagall is absolutely distraught, she keeps telling people you're still alive, she knows, and I know it's not true, but in one way we both know it is. You're there Dumbledore, you're here right here in Professor McGonagall's, mine and everybody else's heart, and mind.

You had such an impact on all our lives, and now you've left them, but not really, not truly, because we all have our memories of you, that will be passed on from generation to generation. You may have left your body, but your spirit and the memory of you still remains with us." Harry gave a small chuckle through his ears.

"You know Professor, I think I'm beginning to sound a bit philosophical right now. I know others will want to come in and talk to you, but I just want to say one more thing, so I hope your still listening up there.

"I'm going to make you proud, not only you, but my mum, dad and Sirius. I'm going to make the four of you so proud, I promise you that. I just might need a little help on the way." I soft knock warned Harry of someone about to enter, and indeed it was followed by the quiet click of the door, and both Hermione and Ron came into the room.

"Are you alright Harry?" Ron asked, his voice unsteady. Harry's back was turned to them, allowing him the opportunity to quickly wipe away his tears.

"I'm alright Ron, just having a chat, how is Professor McGonagall?" 

"She's not good mate. She doesn't seem to be able to take in that he has passed away, but then again, I'm finding it quite difficult to let it sink in." Harry nodded, understanding fully what Ron meant. Harry stood from his chair, and bent down close to Dumbledore's face.

"Goodbye Sir, you know I'll miss you," he whispered, before turning away and heading towards the door. As he passed Ron and Hermione, he felt Ron's hand go to his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before both nodded to each other and Harry left the room.

Once the door to the room had clicked and closed, Hermione and Ron headed towards the two vacant seats next to the bed. Tears were streaming down Hermione's face once again, and the odd teardrop silently fell from Ron's eyes.

"All right Sir?" he said quietly. "We've come for a bit of a talk, I'm not sure you can hear us, but I hope you can."

"We want to thank you for everything" Hermione managed to say in a shuddering voice.

"When we say everything we mean everything. You've done so much for us, helped us through everything, we just really wanted to tell you how much we appreciated your help."

"We may not have shown our appreciation much, but we have a lot to thank you for, and I want you to know just how grateful we are that you were there for us."

"Hermione's right, we may have made some wrong decisions or silly mistakes, but no matter what, you were there, through everything. I just want you to now how much you mean to me…"

"And me. We're both going to miss you Sir, I wish you were able to see us graduate, and allow us to make you proud. Just promise you'll watch over us all." Hermione stood from her chair, and bent over, placing a soft kiss on Dumbledore's forehead. "We'll all miss you, but hopefully you already know that."

They both vacated the room, and were quickly replaced by Severus Snape, at the request that Dumbledore be left alone. He approached the bed slowly and quietly, not really believing what he saw. He lay there so peaceful and unaware at the grieving that was taking place in the other room. He sat down, and stared, stared at him for a few minutes, before looking away. The silence that had covered the room allowed the whisperings, and cry's to be heard from the room next door, the sudden clashing of china upon china came through the closed door as Minerva tried to busy herself, and her mind by making a new round of tea, the muggle way. He could hear the voice of Xiomara trying to stop her, and get her to sit back down. Once again he turned back to the bed, looking intensely at the Headmasters face. Like Harry he noticed the sudden smoothness of his face. He sat their staring, not sure what to do what to say. He'd seen death many times before, but this, this was different. This was Albus Dumbledore, the one man he and everyone else had thought was immortal, and invincible. No one had expected this to happen, he always seemed so healthy, so alive, and full of childish spirit. Yet that had not lasted, and could never be replaced. He opened his mouth to speak, but before the words left his mouth the door of the room quietly opened, and Xiomara, popped her head round the door, seeking approval to enter. As he nodded his head she entered slowly, eyes flitting all over the room apart from the bed.

"How's Minerva?"

"She, she told me to go away, she's taken this badly Severus, she doesn't seem to know what to do with herself. She says she wants to be left alone, but then she changes her mind, and doesn't want anybody to leave. The Weasley's have left, trying to give her a bit of space." Severus nodded his head, looking back to Xiomara; he noticed her eyes staring at the opposite wall.

"Xiomara?"

"Yes?" she asked eyes, not moving from its intense stare at a spot on the wall.

"You do realise that even if you don't look, it is unfortunately still true." She nodded her head and slumped into the chair next to him.

"I just don't believe it, his gone, I keep expecting the world to collapse, I mean without him, well I don't know… and poor Min, I just don't know how to help her. You Mr Dumbledore, what do you think you're playing at leaving us like this?" Her voice was strong, masking the tears that threatened to fall. "What are we going to do with Minerva, her world's been tipped upside down, you've gone and left her, and she's so upset she doesn't know what to do without you, and neither do I." She felt a protective arm go round her shoulder, as her tears began to fall. A heart-wrenching cry pulled them both out of their thoughts, as Minerva gave into her overwhelming grief. Xiomara immediately pulled out of his embrace, leaping from her seat at the sound of her friend in such pain. She walked to the door turning back to the body of Dumbledore.

"Albus, you better look after her." Snape followed slowly behind, stopping to leave a message for him.

"Headmaster, I just want to say thank you, thank you for giving me a second chance, you'll never know how much I really appreciated it." Giving Dumbledore's hand one last squeeze, he left the room, to see what state Minerva was in.

As he entered the room, he saw Minerva crumpled on the floor, surrounded by Poppy, Xiomara, and Harry. He could hear the slight thud on the carpeted floor, as she banged her fists against it, and her mumbled speech voicing the question he was asking himself 'Why?' He looked over to Remus on the other side of the room, he sat slumped in an armchair near the fire, the look on his face was a defeated one, the grief from the passing of his best friend was yet to have left him, but his weariness of both was beginning to show. With one last look at Minerva; he headed over to the chair next to Remus'. Lowering himself down, he spoke quietly.

"I think we should get the children back to their common room." Remus nodded his head, and began to move them before turning back.

"Perhaps not Harry, Minerva needs him." Severus nodded at this, and both moved towards Ron and Hermione who were sitting backs leaning against the wall. After a quiet discussion with Hermione and Ron, both teenagers slowly eased themselves up, and were escorted back to the common room.

Xiomara looked up as she heard the snap of the door closing. Surveying the room she noticed that the four occupants had left, her attention was immediately turned back to Minerva as another sob shook her body.

"Min perhaps I should get you a dreamless sleep potion?" Poppy asked as she held her friend.

"No! I don't want nor need one." Her reply was met with a raised eyebrow from both Poppy and Xiomara.

"Poppy's right perhaps, you'd be better…"

"I said no!" The subject was put aside for the moment as silence enclosed the room. "I want to see him again!" Minerva pulled herself up, heading towards the door.

"Do you really think that's a good idea Min?" Xiomara asked from he position in front of the door. "I don't want to see you upset yourself anymore."

"She's right Professor, perhaps tomorrow, the healers aren't taking him until tomorrow."

"I wish to see him now!" She removed her wand from her pocket, "and if you do not subtract yourself from that door Xiomara I may resort to something I will later regret." At these words her passage to Dumbledore was unblocked, Xiomara making the wise decision after seeing the look in her eyes. Entering the room, Minerva headed towards the bed instead of the chairs that had previously been taken. Taking her normal position up on the left hand side of the bed she lay next to him. Enfolding his hand in hers she began to speak softly.

"Oh Albus, what am I going to do? You've left me to look after myself, your professors, and the children. How am I going to do this? I can't take up this challenge, I need you with me, by my side I need you Albus, why did you go and leave me? What am I going to tell everyone, they'll all be so shocked, you were always the invincible Albus Dumbledore, the man everyone was afraid of, even He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. How are we going to deal with this on-going battle without you? The Order is likely to fall apart, and me, well I think I've already fallen apart. I know you'd tell me to be strong, but I can't I can't be strong, knowing that your not here to help me do that. We've been together for so many years, more years than I've been on my own, I'm not used to this Albus, it all seems so, so unnatural. You should be here with me right here, telling me everything will be ok, reassuring me and comforting me like you always did.

What happened to your plan Albus, you always said we'd die together. Not to worry about anything, because we'd be together, no matter what, we'd always be together. You told me so many times, that you'd never leave me, and I promised I'd never do the same, but look at us now I'm here, and your God knows where. Always together you said, live together and die together! I told you many times the only way it'd happen was if we died side by side during a battle, or perhaps one of those muggle accidents. You never agreed, just said the same thing over and over again. 'Don't worry Minerva, we'll die together, I won't leave you.' Being the foolish one I am, I believed you, I believed you Albus, and I think even you yourself did, but it hasn't happened, and now I'm sitting here without you. It didn't come true, no matter how much we believed in it, it didn't come true.

Oh I don't know what to do without you Albus I wish you were to tell me, instruct me on what I should be doing, making all the arrangements. We'll have to tell the school tomorrow, and the papers. They'll all want to come to the service, you were a respected man, and your going to be missed so much. I haven't contacted Aberforth yet, nor Anne. I think someone will be doing that shortly." Another sob racked her body. Pulling herself towards him, she wrapped her arms around his body laying her head on the beard that use to act as a second pillow.

"Albus? I hope you know how much I'm going to miss you, and how I love you with both my heart and sole." Tears began silently falling down her face, landing on his beard as she began to fall into a light sleep.

A/n: By the way Anne, who is mentioned is my own character, and will be Dumbledore's sister, she'll feature in another chapter. I'm sorry if its all a bit jumpy, and if the grammar's bad, but it was quite hard to write, so please excuse any big mistakes. Also I intend to carry this on for a few more chapters, may be short ones, depending on schoolwork, and how difficult it gets. Please read and review, and please no flamers, I know it may not be good, but it's from the heart.

I'd also like to thank my reviewers:

_Insaneflautist_: I'm rather honoured to be reviewed by you love reflections in the water, it's a great story. I'm glad you liked reading, and just want to thank you for saying all that stuff and reviewing.

_LinZE_: Glad you liked it, I like your work too J

_Isabelle3_: sorry to hear about your great grandma, I know from all this that saying sorry isn't really enough, but there's never anything else you can really say. I was really close to my grandad too, and it feels so bizarre, I mean the longest I was ever away from him was 2 weeks, so how to cope with the rest of my life is really scary at the moment.

_crystalunicorn14_: I'm definitely continuing as you can see, I'm sorry it made you cry, I think but I'm glad it touched you that much, you say about hoping he'd wake back up, that was exactly the same thought I had with my grandad.

_Dumbledore's Quill_: Thanks, glad you liked it.


	3. Relatives and Arrangements

It Feels Like A Dream

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Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately!!!

****

A/n: This story is for my grandad who passed away on 13th October 2003. As you'll notice, this is mainly based on that day, the events that followed, and how my grandma and I reacted. Like my other story, 'I Never Meant To' I find it helps to do this, allows me to put my feelings down and things like that.

This story is AD/MM and all those present know about Dumbledore and McGonagall. If you don't like AD/MM well sorry, but really they're a bit like my grandparents, and it's kind of fitting.

Also sorry it took so long to write this, I've been kept busy by school work and up and coming exams, but Christmas kind of opened it all up again, and I went for the first time to his well thing, and that kind of well it was weird, but it gave me lots of things to think and cry about again.

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As the sun began to rise, small shafts of light filtered through the closed drapes, settling on the bodies of Minerva and Albus. She lay next to him, her head still cushioned on his beard as it previously had been. Her arms remained tightly around his body, holding on for dear life as her chest rose and fell in a rhythmic beat. Albus remained in the same position, the lack of movement signifying the events of last night, the only change being that of the movement of his arm that was now encircling the woman next to him. Muffled movements and hushed voices initiated the awakening of the sleeping form. As Minerva stirred, she felt the arm enveloping her, an action she was used to waking up to, it all seemed so normal, and natural. It seemed that last night had been just what she hoped, a nightmare, it was all ok, she'd woken up now, and everything had returned back to its usual way. Giving his hand a tight squeeze, her world once again fell apart. It was cold, it was exceptionally cold, all heat had been drained from his hand, and suddenly noticing the lack of movement in the man's chest, the nightmare once again became reality. Slowly lifting his arm she was remarkably surprised at the weight and stiffness she encountered, managing to lift it high enough, she rolled out from the embrace, and lay on the opposite side of the bed, drawing the covers around her in attempt to conserve heat. The coldness she had felt in his hand, had sent shivers down her spine, and these had spread right through her entire body. Keeping her eyes transfixed on the man next to her, she took in his features, the long silver hair and beard, the closed eyes, that would no doubt have been bright and twinkling blue ones, the small but noticeable bump in his chiselled nose that gave away the fact that it had been broken, a few too many times than necessary. Her thoughts were cut off with the slow movement of the door handle and the slow creaking of the door.

"Minerva?" Poppy's whispered voice rung around the room, as she slowly entered further in.

"Yes Poppy?" Minerva's voice was muffled due to the thick fluffy red quilt that had been pulled over her head. Poppy walked to the side of the bed, bending down so she was level with the form of Minerva. Slowly lifting a small part of the duvet, she came face to face with the Minerva's large green eyes that were now puffy and red from her constant stream of tears.

"You've got two guests." Minerva's eyes widened, as she accepted the hand Poppy held out for her. Sitting up she summoned her slippers, and slipped her feet into them, been guided by Poppy out of the room.

On entering the large living room, she could not see who her visitors were, but for the back of their heads. Both had a full head of silvery white hair, the resemblance to Albus's gave them away immediately.

"A…Aberforth? A…A…Anne?" Both heads turned around immediately, at the tentative call of their name.

"Oh Minerva!" she was immediately swept up into a big hug from Anne, while Aberforth hung back a little, waiting to see how she would respond. Upon seeing Aberfoth, she could not hold back the tears that filled her eyes, he graciously held out his arms, and she welcomed the invitation, by swiftly stepping into his arms. He held her as she grieved for the man in the next room; his tears too soon began to fall.

"I'm sorry, what must you think? Err… Anne, would you like to err…" Catching on to what Minerva was trying to imply she nodded her head, and was led by Minerva into the bedroom. While Aberforth took his seat, leaving his sister, and sister-in-law some time to themselves.

Harry raced through the deserted corridors, the school all still peacefully asleep at such an early time. He skidded to a stop as he approached the staircase.

"Pineapple Chunks" the gargoyle sprung aside, and the staircase, began to carry him slowly up the stairwell. Reaching the large wooden door, he softly knocked, and was beckoned in by a familiar voice. Opening the door, the sight that greeted him was nothing but quite shocking. The man who was standing with his back towards him looked, well he looked unbelievably like Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore?" The man spun round, and the slight bit of hope that had risen in Harry's stomach, was squashed back down. Once the man had turned Harry immediately noticed the one missing factor, to this Professor Dumbledore, the long flowing silver beard that he had become so accustomed to. He actually felt rather foolish now, he'd allowed himself to be hopeful, and nothing had a risen from it.

"I'm afraid not Mr Potter, I'm his brother Aberforth." Harry's mouth formed the shape of and 'o' in recognition of this man, remembering the time Dumbledore had briefly mentioned his brother, and his likening of goats.

"You… you look so much like him." Aberforth slightly nodded his head and gave him a wistful smile.

"Yes, I suppose I do, minus the beard of course, but we all did."

"All?"

"Yes there were 4 of us together, and the 2 girls of course. Amadeus, Albus, Ares, Aileen, Me and Anne. Us lads, we looked like our father, and the girls our mother. Just me and Anne left now." He lowered his head into his hands as he thought of his fellow siblings; Albus had been the only lucky one to have died peacefully. Ares had been the first to go during the last few days of the war with Voldermort, before young Harry Potter had defeated him. Next was Amadeus who had suffered a large heart attack that had been too strong for his body to handle. Aileen had been the next, hers had been one of the worst, killed in a muggle car accident, she'd been knocked over by a lorry, and carried 500meters down the road before the man could stop. He remembered her injuries, she'd been cut across her abdomen from one side to the other, and now Albus had been added to the list. He was the brother he felt would have been the last to go, always so full of life and energy no matter the 20 year age difference, he had always been the one he'd imagined to out live the lot of them. His sister, who indicated to the gaping door in which a figure could be seen shaking next to the bed, pulled him out of his reverie. Aberfoth nodded his head and slowly removed himself from his chair, making his way into the bedroom closing the door behind him.

The woman who had recently entered the room took the seat opposite Harry, a slow stream of tears still continuing to roll down her face. Looking over the tops of her glasses she caught sight of Harry.

"You must be Mr Potter, Minerva said you'd most likely be out here." Harry gave a small smile of acknowledgement. "I'm Anne McGowan, Albus's younger sister." Harry reached over holding out his hand; she returned the gesture, gripping his hand quite tightly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs McGowan."

"How are you Harry, Minerva mentioned that you were quite close to Albus, and from what I remember from some of his stories," a slight pause in her sentence captured Harry's attention. "Well the ones Aberforth replayed to me" she finished quietly, before regaining her composure and continuing in her normal voice. "He was quite fond of you too Mr Potter" The corners of Harry's lips raised into a shadow of a smile at this last comment, quietly remembering the many time Dumbledore had been there to help him out of trouble. His words from his first year after his incident with the late Professor Quirrell. 

_"To the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure."_

The words echoed in his mind, getting louder and louder in what seemed an attempt to drown out the anguished cries of his grieving Professor. The look on Mrs McGowan's face showed her unease at the grief she was hearing, her eyes slowly filling with tears, in an effort to turn both their attentions away from the room next to them, Harry asked a question that had been at the back of his mind.

"I'm sorry Mrs McGowan, but you said that Aberforth had to replay the stories, didn't Professor Dumbledore tell you?"

"Well no, Albus and I, we weren't on the best of terms for ooohh a good 100 years if my memory serves me rightly. It wasn't until about a year ago that we got back into contact."

"100 years!"

"Yes I was about 25, and Albus was just 50, in all honesty Mr Potter, I couldn't for the life of me tell you what it was all about, but I'll tell you one thing, it is one of my greatest regrets. I missed out on so much of his life, all I knew of my own brother was the paper cuttings I found in the Daily Prophet, stories from my other siblings, and of course brief glimpses of him at family events. Now however, well I don't know really I keep thinking back on the could have been's, but there no comfort at all, I feel so guilty not having been there for him, and now, well I cant exactly amend my mistakes now can I?"  Her head dropped, as Harry saw tears begin to fall down her face pooling onto the carpet, the silent shuffling of feet approaching, and the comforting hand of Aberforth on her back brought her back together again. Quickly dabbing at her eyes with her hands, she busied herself with re-arranging her skirts as she stood up from her chair.

"Come on Anne, let's give Min some time to herself." She nodded at Aberforth's suggestion and bustled out of the room, saying her last goodbyes.

"It's been a pleasure to meet you Mr Potter." Aberforth said as he extended his hand towards Harry. Harry gabbed hold of it giving him a firm handshake.

"Pleasure to meet you to Mr Dumbledore."

"I'll be seeing you soon, at the funeral yes?" Harry took a large gulp at the word 'funeral' and found he didn't have the voice to answer, instead shaking his head solemnly. He felt a tight grip on his shoulder, and looked round to see Professor McGonagall, holding onto him, her eyes still red and puffy from crying. Mrs McGowan was not far behind, and they embraced before she said her farewell to Harry and flooed to her cottage in Wales. Aberforth, said nothing, instead just stared at McGonagall who nodded in return, giving a small smile as he too flooed back to his home.

Both Harry and Minerva were the only two that remained in the office, Harry found that McGonagall's hand ha found its way back to his shoulder, he found a source of comfort and relief, turning round he looked at her, both being of the same height now.

"Are you ok Professor?" He received a nod, as tears once again sprung to her eyes, with a slight hesitation, Harry wrapped his arms around her, as she leaned against allowing her tears to flow for another time that day, as Harry allowed himself to do the same. After a few minutes had passed Minerva began to straighten herself up.

"Look at us Mr Potter, now what would Albus say?" Harry smiled at this. "We have much planning to do, and I would be very grateful if you wouldn't mind helping. Professors Snape, Hooch, and Madame Pomfrey shall be here shortly, and I'd like your input if it isn't of any trouble."

"Of course not Professor, would you like me to make you a drink?" She nodded slowly,

"Cup of tea if you don't mind Harry, oh and a dash of Fire whisky in there, just you mind you don't tell any students." Harry gave her a quick grin as he set about making both a cup of tea, with Professor McGonagall's own secret ingredient. 

Both sat down in the two large downy armchairs in front of the open-hearth fire, deep in their own thoughts. The entrance of Severus Snape, Xiomara Hooch, Poppy Pomfrey, and an unknown man into the room stirred both Harry and McGonagall out of their thoughts.

"Minerva this is Mr Late of 'Departed & Late Funeral Company'" Poppy's introduction was met with a slight inclination of her head. Harry got up from his seat and took his place in one of the four seats Snape had conjured up, and Mr Late took his departed seat opposite the four Professors and Harry.

"Now Mrs Dumbledore, we usually start off with the type of coffin you'd like your husband to be in. If you'd care to take a look there are a large range to choose from, our best seller is the oak with silver handles. McGonagall accepted the book he'd offered her tears beginning to fill her eyes, but quickly kept back and pushed away. Harry couldn't help but think it seemed a bit like shopping for a new fully fitted kitchen. The way Mr Late handled it so professional and business like, but then to him it was business like.

"What do you think Harry?" McGonagall brought his attention to the large book, her hand pointing to a large picture of what looked like, well a Moses basket with a lid. Harry looked up and gave her a small smile,

"He'd like that one."

"Yes he would wouldn't he?" Harry heard a sniff come from his left as Madame Pomfrey made every effort to keep in the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Have chosen Mrs Dumbledore?"

"Yes I have, this one" once again she pointed to the picture as she handed the book back.

"This one?" McGonagall nodded her head as conformation. "Surely Mrs Dumbledore this isn't fit for Albus Dumbledore to be laid to rest in he was the greatest wizard of our time beating the dark wizard Grinderwald."

"I am quite aware of who my husband was and what he achieved, Albus would not have wanted your best-selling coffin nor any fancy one. He was a simple man Mr Late who enjoyed the pleasures of life and I quite confident that he would like this coffin!"

"But Mrs Dumble…"

"I believe our decision has been made Mr Late, if you are incapable of co-operating we will gladly take out business else where" Snape injected.

"Yes, yes of course, well in that case, is there anywhere in particular you'd like to hold the funeral?"

"Yes, he has plot already reserved for him, next to his brother Amadeus." McGonagall answered quickly, and the information was noted down quickly on the clipboard in front of Mr Late.

"Well I'll be in touch with a nearby church to…"

"No church!"

"I'm sorry?"

"A church service won't be held before his buried."

"Mrs Dumbledore, it is the correct procedure in cases like this."

"It may be correct, but he wasn't particularly religious, don't get me wrong he believed in God, but he didn't attend church, and he always said that he didn't want a man who he'd never met telling people how wonderful he was. We will carry out own service thank you. We'd just like a date as to when he can be buried." Silence engulfed the room, and Mr Late just stared at McGonagall, and the unorthodox funeral that would be taking place for the Greatest Wizard of their time. A light knock on the office door broke the silence and Madame Pomfrey got up to answer the door. A quiet conversation took place between the visitors and school nurse, and she slowly opened the door to reveal 3 healers, Harry recognised the uniform from his visit to Mr Weasley.

"Our sincerest condolences Professor McGonagall." What looked like the oldest came over to the congregation.

"Thank you Elliott. I'll take you to him yes?" With a bow of the head she led the three healers into the next room quickly followed by Poppy. Silence once again fell in the room and Harry found that the three remaining adults had bowed their heads in respect as the deceased was removed from his resting place onto the stretcher, and covered with a white sheet. As they brought the body out of the room all heads bowed in respect and the silence was only broken by the sob that escaped from McGonagall's mouth.

"I can't do this Poppy, Xiomara please you have to take over." Her voice was filled with tears as she turned round and went back into the bedroom. Xiomara went to follow but was stopped by Poppy's hand on her arm.

"The only way we can help her at the moment is by carrying on organising this funeral. Harry!" Harry jumped at the sound of his name.

"Yes Madame Pomfrey?"

"Will you go in and check she's alright and not doing anything silly?" Harry nodded and walked over to the door and knocked softly before slowly opening the door.

"Right Mr Late I believe we only have the date to set now."

As he entered the room he noticed McGonagall sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her hands that were presently folded in her lap, the tears quickly falling onto them.

"Professor?" Harry asked tenderly. He got no reply acknowledging his presence, so he slowly began to walk towards her. "Professor?" he asked again gently touching her shoulder. This time she looked up to him the wet track of tears running down her face glinted.

"Oh Harry what am I going to do?" she asked in desperation, burying her face into her hands. He slowly sat down next to her, and gradually wrapped an arm around her as she cried. "I'm lost Harry. What do I do now?"

"I don't know Professor, I haven't got any answers to that question, but Professor Dumbledore would want you to be strong, he'd hate to see you upset, you know he would." Harry felt hot tears slowly beginning to fall down his face.

A/n: I'm sorry if its all a bit jumpy, and if the grammar's bad, but it was quite hard to write, so please excuse any big mistakes. Also I intend to carry this on for a few more chapters, may be short ones, depending on schoolwork, and how difficult it gets. Please read and review, and please no flamers, I know it may not be good, but it's from the heart.

I'd also like to thank my reviewers:

_Insaneflautist, LinZE_, _crystalunicorn14_, _Dumbledore's Quill, Jestana, Liz O'Brien, evilwoman and Princess witch._


	4. Albus?

It Feels Like A Dream

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Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately!!!

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A/n: This story is for my grandad who passed away on 13th October 2003. As you'll notice, this is mainly based on that day, the events that followed, and how my grandma and I reacted. Like my other story, 'I Never Meant To' I find it helps to do this, allows me to put my feelings down and things like that.

This story is AD/MM and all those present know about Dumbledore and McGonagall. If you don't like AD/MM well sorry, but really they're a bit like my grandparents, and it's kind of fitting.

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More students filtered into the Great Hall in dribs and drabs finding places at their houses tables to eat their evening meal. A murmur of curiosity travelled round the hall as the absence of their Headmaster was once again noticed. This was the third meal of the day that neither he, nor the deputy headmistress had shown up for. The absence of Professors Snape and Hooch added more to their curiosity. However for the only two students with any knowledge of the previous events knew all too well the reason for their absences.

"Do you think Professor McGonagall will come and announce it tonight?" Ron whispered to Hermione, his eyes flickering from the faces of people around him to make sure they couldn't hear him.

"I doubt it will be McGonagall, you saw how upset she was last night, it'll probably be Snape or Hooch. I wonder how Harry's coping?"

"Don't know I went to speak to him this morning before the others woke, but he'd already got up and gone. I assumed he'd gone straight to Dumbledore's office."

Hermione nodded her head, and was about to reply when a silence shrouded the Hall. All heads turned to look up at Professor Snape who was standing in front of the teacher's table.

"I know that many of you have been wondering about the absence of our Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, and it is with much sadness that I must tell you, that last night at 9.30 Albus Dumbledore passed away."

A ringing silence followed Snape's words, and all eyes remained on him as his words began to sink in.

"Out of respect, and in mourning for our loss, all classes will be cancelled until next Monday."

 One by one the students turned to look at the remaining members of the staff, noticing the tears that had sprung to many of the females eyes, and quite a few of the males, it sank in that this was real.

All eyes followed Snape as he strode out of the Hall, headed for the Headmasters office; once he'd left a quiet whisper began all telling anecdotes of the former headmaster to their friends. 

The door to Dumbledore's bedroom opened, and Harry looked up to see who had entered. Madame Pomfrey walked in closely followed by Severus Snape.

"Minerva?" Minerva's face slowly lifted from its position on Harry's shoulder to look at Madame Pomfrey. "I have written to the Daily Prophet and informed them of the news…"

"…And I have made an announcement to the students, and cancelled all classes until Monday." Minerva slowly nodded at their statements,

"And… the err… funeral?" Her voice wavered at saying the last word.

"It has been arranged Minerva, it will take place in four days time, on Wednesday, he is now in the chapel at rest. The funeral will take place for close family and friends of your choosing, and a memorial service has been planned for Friday." Madame Pomfrey told her of the arrangements made while Snape vigorously nodded his head.

"The Chapel of rest? Can I visit him?"

"Of course Minerva, but do you think it is wise?" Madame Pomfrey's questioned was answered with a sharp glare. "When ever you feel ready Min, but before you can go they need to dress him in the clothes that you choose." This was met with a quick movement as Minerva swept from her position on the bed to the large oak wardrobe that spanned the one wall. Opening the far left door she leafed through the first drawer, the sock drawer. After a few minutes of rummaging, she came across the item she was searching for, and threw it onto the bed. She then continued to move down to the bottom drawer, and glance through the numerous pair of pyjamas, until she came to the pair she'd been looking for.

"I know they will clash, but they were his favourite." The occupants of the room smiled as she lay out the outfit.

The pyjamas were of a deep royal blue colour, decorated with many moons and stars that seemed to glimmer and reflect the light. Made of a satin material, they were a fine contrast to the stripy, brightly coloured cashmere socks.

"He'll look fantastic." Harry murmured, and a brief smile graced Minerva's face at this.

"Yes, yes he will. Severus?" He glanced towards her at the sound of his name, and nodded to show he was listening. "I'd like you to inform those who will be attending the… the thing." She could still not bring herself to say the word funeral, as it made the whole situation feel so…so real. "Inform them that if they wish, they may write a letter to Albus that will be place in that 'thing' with him." She then turned to Madame Pomfrey.

"Poppy, can you draw up a list of people to be invited, you know who I mean, the staff, the order, his family, friends and a few members of the ministry, but under no circumstances Fudge!" Madame Pomfrey nodded and left the room to start her task. Snape, who had gathered the items of clothing with the obvious intention of stopping by the Chapel of rest, quickly followed her.

"I think I handled that bit quiet well." She sighed as she came to sit on the bed once more.

"I agree Professor." Harry murmured as he sat next to her.

"I hope you'll be writing a letter Harry, he'd like that." Harry nodded and smiled slightly; tears began to spring to his eyes at the use of the present tense in his Professor's last statement.

"Of course Professor, I think I may go and start it now." She nodded as she felt the weight of Harry's body leave the bed.

She sat there all alone, the sun had set a while ago, and darkness had enfolded the room, changing her position she curled into a ball, lying in the middle of the bed. Her time alone gave her the chance to think about the man she had loved, and now lost. She could remember it all the year of correspondence over the movements of Grindelwald and his followers. This was the year after she'd left Hogwarts, her old transfiguration teacher, who just happened to be Albus had asked her to act as his London correspondence, tracking any unusual activities of known followers. The mission was risky one, but the information she gained was vital to some of the Order's movements. During they're letters however, their relationship had moved on from that of a student – teacher, to that of a friendship. It was until their first meeting, under the large clock at Waterloo Station in London that she realised that she may well have fallen in love with her old Professor.

Curled up on the bed, tears began to roll down her face at those memories. The feeling she felt when she first set her eyes on him at the train station came back to her. The feeling of fluttering butterflies in her stomach whenever he looked at her. She had just turned 19 that year. At these thoughts her body became racked with tears, and she decided that perhaps it was best to sleep off these memories.

Slowly opening her eyes she glanced at the figure standing in front of her. His long white beard and hair were tucked into the belt around his robes. His wizarding hat was no where to be seen, but she could see a small piece of white paper sticking out of his right hand side pocket. The paper could only belong to a paper bag containing at least a dozen sherbet lemons.

"A…Albus" he nodded his head the twinkle in his eye was back just as Minerva remembered.

"Hello Minerva." She pulled the covers closer to her as, she raised herself slowly to a sitting position on her knees.

"Albus, you left me! Why?"

"I didn't leave you Min, I'm right here. I'm not leaving you; I'm waiting for you. I told you I wouldn't leave you, I can't go anywhere without my Min. Nothing will ever change that. I'll always be here waiting for you until your time comes, and you come and join me. Then, like I always said we'll go together." Tears were rolling down her eyes at his words, she wanted to reach out and touch him, but was afraid that this might cause him to go away.

"Now don't cry Min, I'm ok, I'm so proud of you, you know that don't you, I really am proud. Just remember I'm here, right beside you all the time."

"I love you Albus!"

"And I love you too Minerva."

With that he slowly began to fade, and she watched as he disappeared for the time being, she curled herself back into a ball and let the tears freely roll down her face, slightly comforted at the sound of her husbands voice and words.

A/n: I'm sorry if its all a bit jumpy, and if the grammar's bad, but it was quite hard to write, so please excuse any big mistakes. Sorry for the short chapter, and long update time, but I've had school, and well it's been a bit difficult to write. The next chapter will contain Minerva and Harry's letters, and then straight onto the funeral I think. Please bare with me as the update time may increase as I have a lot of exams coming up.

I was also thinking of writing a prequel to this fic, with more detail on how Albus and Minerva met, already mentioned in this chapter. I'd love people's comments on that, please feel free to e-mail me at its_amy_louise_darling@hotmail.com 

Please read and review, and please no flamers, I know it may not be good, but it's from the heart.

I'd also like to thank my reviewers:

_Insaneflautist, LinZE_, _crystalunicorn14_, _Dumbledore's Quill, Jestana, Liz O'Brien, evilwoman, Princess witch, Emutet and Hermione Gardiner. Thank you for taking the time to review, and leaving such wonderful comments._


	5. Eulogies

It Feels Like A Dream

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Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately!!!

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A/n: This story is for my grandad who passed away on 13th October 2003. As you'll notice, this is mainly based on that day, the events that followed, and how my grandma and I reacted. Like my other story, 'I Never Meant To' I find it helps to do this, allows me to put my feelings down and things like that.

This story is AD/MM and all those present know about Dumbledore and McGonagall. If you don't like AD/MM well sorry, but really they're a bit like my grandparents, and it's kind of fitting.

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_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_I have to admit it feels strange writing this, writing you a letter that you'll never get the chance to read. If I'm honest I don't really know why I'm doing it, well apart from the fact that Professor McGonagall asked me to. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say, so I think I'll just tell you what I'm thinking._

_I mean I don't understand why this has all happened, why you've been taken away, you've gone and left us all with no help, guidance, and most of all no you._

_Hogwarts won't be the same without you; life won't really be the same without you. It still feels a bit surreal, as though this isn't really happening, that any minute now I might just wake up. Of course I no its not true, but there's still that small piece inside my heart that believes there is the slightest possibility that I could wake up and you'd be still here, looking out for us all._

_You were the Greatest Wizard of our time, and so many people around this world will miss you for that, for your triumphant and famous defeat of Gridelwald and your constant battle, and help against Voldemort. I don't know how I'll cope without your advice and aid. If it hadn't of been for you, I'd never have made it past my first year. I'm sure you remember the Voldemort/Quirrel incident._

_I feel as though I never told you just how much I appreciated everything you did for me. You didn't have to do anything at all, you could have left me to get on with things, but you didn't, and I will never forget that. I just… well I just wish I'd had the chance to tell you that. I know that this letter is supposed to be a way of doing so, but I'd have liked to have had the opportunity to have told it to you personally. My chance has gone though, and although I never said it I hope you knew of my thankfulness._

_I'm also sorry for my outburst last year, I never meant to act like that, but the shock of Sirius's death, and then the prophecy, well I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say. I never meant to upset you, but I couldn't help it, it was a natural reaction, and if I could, I'd go back and change everything about that year, and especially that night._

_It's hard you know, to lose two people that you consider to be the family I never had in the time of 6 months. The feeling well it's really a mixture of sadness, loneliness and emptiness. I've lost Sirius, my Godfather, and the closest thing I had to a father, and you, the man I considered to be well I suppose a grandad. It sounds silly saying that, but that's how you acted. You looked out for me, helped me out of most of the danger I encountered, you tried to protect, and help me. You behaved like a surrogate grandfather to me, taking the place of the two I never knew. _

_I think I've said all I wanted to say to you, but never got the chance, I'm quite glad I did this actually, I feel much better for it. I just really want to say thank you, thank you for everything you ever did for me, and that I'll never ever forget it, or you! Even though you've gone, just promise me one thing, you'll never leave us not properly any way, we'll all need someone just like you to look after us, and help us along the way._

_Yours Harry xxx_

_PS: I hope they've got an everlasting supply of sherbet lemons waiting for you._

Folding the letter up into quarters, Harry placed it into an envelope before inscribing '_Professor Albus Dumbledore' _on the front. Leaving the boys dormitory, he descended the staircase hoping to slip away unnoticed through the common room. As he made his way through he noticed that all the Gryffindors were comforting each other, all were sat around in a large group softly speaking about the Headmaster. As he made his way up the moving stairs towards Dumbledore's office Harry began to feel a bit nervous. Instead of knocking on the oak door, he bent slowly down, pushing his letter underneath the thin gap at the bottom of the door. He quickly turned round and ran down the staircase, quicker than the stairs could have taken him.

The movement of a white square by the door out the corner of her eye caught Minerva's attention. Moving the intense focus of her eyes from the roaring fire to the stationary object she slowly moved towards it. Picking the envelope up she immediately recognised the writing having marked the boy's homework for the last 5 years. The memory of her words about a eulogy came flooding back to her, and her thoughts turned to her own letter that she was yet to write. Grasping a piece of parchment, quill and ink pot from his desk, she sat herself in the large cosy red armchair next to the fire. Her legs tucked underneath her, and her head resting against the back of the chair, her thoughts returned to the man she had just lost.

_To my beloved Albus,_

_I must admit to you now that I am at loss, a dead end you might call it. I am no_ _longer whole, instead I'm missing a large part of my heart and soul, and that_ _part is you!_

_I don't know what to do; you'd have loved this statement had you been here to hear it. I Minerva McGonagall don't know what to do. I don't have you with me anymore you went and left me, and I don't know what to do without you, I can't function properly. You've been a part of my life for a longer time than_ _you haven't. 60 odd years together, that's a long time Albus, especially for you to just up and leave me with no warning whatsoever. I know you didn't plan to do it like that, after all we were supposed to go together weren't we. I feel so stupid for ever really believing that. I should have known that it was so unlikely that we'd both die together, but you had such a way of making me believe things like that. Do you know why I believed stupid things like that? Because you believed them too!_

_However now, well now, I haven't got you anymore, I haven't got you to believe in some silly thing so much that I too begin to believe. I haven't got the assurance and comfort you always gave me when the world and our lives weren't going to plan. I no longer have the well known hero by my side to_ _brighten my day with those beautiful blue twinkling eyes. Most of all I don't have you, my beloved husband who after years of marriage and friendship still managed to surprise me every day._

_Oh Albus I wish you were here, to guide me through this, I just don't know how to handle this, I can't see my life without you in it, I never thought a day like this would come. You were always so sprightly and lively you weren't supposed to die! You were supposed to stay with me, right by my side. We could have gone together when we were both too tired of this world and this life. But no, you had to go off on your own and leave me to continue on without you._

_If you could see me right now, and the state I'm in. Look what you've done to me Albus Dumbledore you've reduced me to this state, crying nearly every minute of the day, and I'm not even crying for you! It's a selfish act I know, I'm crying for myself and my loss, not for you, but I can't help it, I know you want me to be strong, but I can't! You were the factor that made me strong, you_ _were the man I took my strength from, but you are no longer here, and neither is my strength._

_I just wish I could have you back, even if it were for 5 minutes, though saying that both you and I know that I'd never want to let you go once you were back. But to have you stand here and hug me, whispering words of comfort, well that would mean the world to me. I need you Albus; I'm empty without you._

_Why couldn't you have waited for me? Why did you go? I just can't understand it, there were no warnings, well none that you let us on to, there was no nothing. It was so sudden, you went to sleep, and never woke up. I know that was always the way you wanted to go, but why now, why not next year, or the year after that? Why didn't you wait for me? You know I'd of come with you, but now, now I'm sitting here all alone picturing you in my mind._

_I have always loved you Albus Dumbledore, I still love you, and I will always love you right up until the time when we meet again._

_All of my love _

_Minerva xxxx_

_PS: Wait for me!_

Placing the quill down for a moment, Minerva copied Harry's movements folding the letters into quarters, and placing it into a sealed envelope, which she sealed with wax. Her handwriting spelt out 'My one love Albus Dumbledore'. Picking up Harry's letter, she placed them on his desk, his name facing upwards, ready for him to read. As tears began to fill her eyes and slowly begin to fall, she swept out of the office into the bedroom her now regular room of comfort and grief.

A/n: Well that's all done, I'm not too sure that's worked well or not. I'm sorry if its all a bit jumpy, and of course the really short chapter again. The next chapter will most definitely be the funeral, and most likely be the last chapter, but I'm not sure yet. I don't think that will appear till after June 14th the day of my last AS exam. Yay!

Oh and I've also started writing a prequel to this fic, with more detail on how Albus and Minerva met, already mentioned in the previous chapter. I may have that finished quite soon depending on how bore I get doing physics coursework and revising.

Please read and review, and please no flamers, I know it may not be good, but it's from the heart.

I'd also like to thank my reviewers:

_Liz O'Brien: I hope you liked this chapter, and thank you for your kind comments. By the way your new fic is fantastic._

_ evilwoman: I promise you that min won't do anything stupid, thankfully my grandma didn't either otherwise my family would all be screwed in the head._

_Morgana-Alex: I'm really glad that you've felt so touched by this story, I loved my grandad with all my heart and it's a really difficult thing to cope with._

_tabbyforever: this story is helping me actually, I find that it does in a way, like my other story 'I never meant to' although I'm a bit messed up again because of all this, but it does help a lot. I'm glad you'd like a prequel because I'm writing one._

_minerva's quill: I'm really glad you liked it, and I'm feeling a bit honoured with both you and evilwoman reviewing my story._


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